- SO BRUNO MARS IS IN HIS DRESSING ROOM RIGHT NOW

WAITING FOR A NURSE THAT WE HAVE.

WE HAVE HIDDEN CAMERAS IN HIS DRESSING ROOM.

HE HAS AN EARPIECE.

HE'S GOT TO SAY WHATEVER I TELL HIM TO SAY TO THE NURSE,

AND, BRUNO, WHEN SHE COMES IN,

JUST--FIRST THING, JUST WHEN SHE COMES IN,

JUST SAY, "THANKS FOR COMING,"

AND "DO YOU MIND TAKING YOUR SHOES OFF?"

THAT'S THE FIRST THING.

- GOT IT. - OKAY.

[knocking]

- COME IN.

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

COULD YOU TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF, PLEASE?

- WHAT? - THAT'S A NO--

- NO-SHOE ZONE. - NO-SHOE ZONE.

- OH, I'M SORRY. - DO YOU MIND?

- AS A NURSE, I NEED TO KEEP MY SHOES ON.

- DO YOU MIND?

- I'M SORRY?

- I'M SORRY? WHAT?

- AS A NURSE, I NEED TO KEEP MY SHOES ON.

- OH, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE A NURSE.

- OH, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE A NURSE.

- OKAY. - OKAY.

- OKAY, I'M BRUNO.

- I'M BRUNO.

- NICE TO MEET YOU. - NICE TO MEET YOU.

- WELL, ACTUALLY, WHEN I'M NOT ONSTAGE,

MY NAME IS RAMON.

- WELL, ACTUALLY, WHEN I'M NOT ONSTAGE,

MY NAME IS RAMON.

- OH.

- YOU CAN CALL ME RAMON.

- BUT YOU-- SO YOU CAN CALL ME RAMON.

- RAMON? - YES.

- OKAY.

- OKAY, AND YOUR NAME IS? - AND YOUR NAME IS?

- MY NAME IS DEBORAH. - DEBORAH.

- DEBORAH. - TELL ME ABOUT YOUR TRAINING.

HOW MUCH TRAINING DO YOU HAVE?

- CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR TRAINING?

- OKAY.

- HOW MUCH TRAINING HAVE YOU HAD?

- WELL, PRETTY MUCH, I WENT TO SCHOOL--

IT'S ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF.

- MM. - MM.

- I'M LICENSED BY THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA.

- OKAY. - OKAY, YOU SEEM NICE.

- YOU SEEM NICE. - OH, THANK YOU.

- SO JUST THE ONE NURSE THEY SENT, RIGHT?

- JUST THE ONE NURSE THEY SENT?

- YES. - OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.

- OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.

- I'M FEELING SOMETHING IN MY THROAT,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

- WAS I SUPPOSED TO ASSESS YOU?

- YEAH, I'M FEELING SOMETHING IN MY THROAT,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

- OKAY.

- I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO TOUCH ME, THOUGH.

- I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO TOUCH ME, THOUGH.

- OH. THAT'S FINE.

- OKAY. - OKAY, UM...

ARE YOU ABLE TO SWALLOW OKAY?

- NO, I HAVE NOT SWALLOWED SINCE THE SUPER BOWL.

- NO, I HAVEN'T--I HAVEN'T SWALLOWED SINCE THE SUPER BOWL.

- IT'S LIKE A--I HAVE, LIKE, A CHIP IN MY MOUTH OR SOMETHING.

- LAST WEEK, OR?

- IT'S LIKE I HAVE A CHIP IN MY MOUTH OR SOMETHING.

- I HAD A CHIP DURING HALFTIME.

I HAD A--EITHER A CHEX MIX, OR--

- I HAD A CHIP DURING HALFTIME. - OH, YEAH.

- IT WAS EITHER CHEX MIX...

- OR A DORITO. - OR DORITO...

- OR A FRITO. - FRITO.

- PRINGLE. - OKAY.

- PRINGLE. - IT WAS NOT A PRINGLE.

I WAS WANTING A PRINGLE, BUT THEY DID NOT--

- I WAS WANTING A PRINGLE, IT WASN'T A PRINGLE, ACTUALLY.

- THEY DID NOT GIVE ME PRINGLES, AND I'D ASKED FOR THAT.

- THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME PRINGLES. I ASKED FOR PRINGLES.

- NO PRINGLES IN MY DRESSING ROOM.

- THERE WAS NO PRINGLES IN MY DRESSING ROOM.

- WHY DO PRINGLES COME IN A TENNIS BALL--

- WHY DO PRINGLES COME IN TENNIS BALL CANS?

- LIKE, WHY DO THEY DO THAT, DO YOU THINK?

- WHY DO YOU THINK THEY DO THAT?

- PROBABLY BECAUSE THE SHAPE OF IT.

- OH, YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU'RE RIGHT. - YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU'RE RIGHT. - YOU'RE RIGHT, THE SHAPE.

- OKAY, THIS HAPPENED ONCE BEFORE WHEN I WAS IN CANADA.

- THIS HAPPENED ONCE BEFORE WHEN I WAS IN CANADA.

- IT'S A FUNNY STORY, ACTUALLY.

- IT'S A FUNNY STORY, ACTUALLY.

[audience laughter]

- ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS, THEN?

- OH, I WAS JUST THINKING IT TO MYSELF.

- NO, I WAS JUST THINKING IT TO MYSELF.

- OH, GOT IT.

- YOU HAD TO BE THERE. - YOU HAD TO BE THERE.

- OH, OKAY.

- HOW MANY THROATS HAVE YOU LOOKED AT?

- HOW MANY THROATS HAVE YOU LOOKED AT?

- QUITE A FEW.

DOES IT--WOULD IT FREAK YOU OUT IF I ACTUALLY TOUCH YOUR THROAT?

- YOU CAN TOUCH MY THROAT. - TO CHECK IT?

- YOU CAN TOUCH MY THROAT.

- OKAY, DO YOU MIND WITH MY HANDS,

OR WOULD YOU RATHER ME PUT A GLOVE ON OR SOMETHING

IF IT FREAKS YOU OUT?

- TWO GLOVES. - CAN YOU PUT TWO GLOVES ON?

- THAT'S FINE.

- DID YOU SEE ME ON THE SUPER BOWL, BY ANY CHANCE?

- DID YOU SEE ME ON THE SUPER BOWL, BY ANY CHANCE?

- NO, I DON'T WATCH THE SUPER BOWL.

- OH, I NAILED IT. - I NAILED IT.

- IT WAS SO GOOD. - IT WAS SO GOOD.

- SO, SO GOOD. - SO, SO GOOD.

- [singing] OH, YEAH, YEAH - [singing] OH, YEAH, YEAH

- OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH - OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH

- ANYWAY. - ANYWAY.

- WHY DID YOU GO ON THE SUPER BOWL?

- WHY DID I GO ON THE SUPER BOWL?

- WHY DID I GO ON THE SUPER BOWL?

- WHAT WERE YOU DOING ON-- WHAT DID YOU DO?

- I SANG.

- I MEAN, I'M NOT FAMILIAR WITH IT.

- OH, I SANG.

- I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST FOOTBALL.

- OH, OKAY. - YEAH, NO, I DIDN'T PLAY.

- NO, I DIDN'T PLAY.

- I JUST--I SANG. - I SANG.

- OH, OKAY.

- I'M BRUNO MARS. I DON'T HAVE A FRAGRANCE.

YOU DON'T KNOW ME 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE A FRAGRANCE.

- I'M BRUNO MARS. I DON'T HAVE A FRAGRANCE.

THAT'S PROBABLY WHY YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

- OH.

- YOU KNOW WHAT HURTS THE MOST?

WHEN I GO BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.

- YOU KNOW WHAT HURTS THE MOST?

IS WHEN I GO BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.

- LIKE A TRUCK BACKING UP. - LIKE, BEEP, BEEP.

IT'S LIKE A TRUCK BACKING UP.

- BACK UP WHEN YOU DO THAT. STAND UP AND BACK UP.

- IT'S LIKE WHEN I'M GOING BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.

- YEAH.

[cheers and applause]

- AND, ALSO, IT HURTS WHEN I GO, KA-KA!

- IT HURTS WHEN I GO...

[caws]

[audience laughter]

- OKAY, HOW LONG AGO DID THIS START?

- UM, LIKE, AROUND THE SUPER BOWL TIME.

- LIKE, AROUND THE SUPER BOWL TIME.

- JUST SUPER BOWL?

- YEAH. - AFTER THAT.

AFTER YOU ATE A CHIP?

- YES. - YES.

- HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR DOCTOR AFTER THAT?

- I DON'T HAVE A DOCTOR. - I DON'T HAVE A DOCTOR.

- OKAY.

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO THE DOCTOR BEFORE?

- NOPE. - NOPE.

- START CRYING.

- MAYBE IT'S TIME TO... - [sniffles]

- CRY. JUST...

- [sniffling]

[audience laughter]

- OH, IT HURTS SO BAD.

- [crying] IT HURTS SO BAD.

- RAMON IS SAD. RAMON IS SAD.

- [crying] RAMON IS SAD.

- I'M SORRY.

- OKAY, YOU CAN START FEELING BETTER NOW.

- AH, I FEEL BETTER.

- EVERYTHING'S FINE?

- [sighs]

- [laughs]

- YOU DON'T HAVE ANY PAIN?

- NO, I'M COMPLETELY FINE.

- I'M COMPLETELY FINE. - IT'S WEIRD.

- IT'S WEIRD. - WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?

WHAT DID YOU DO? - WHAT DID YOU DO?

- NOTHING.

- YOU'RE SO GOOD. - YOU'RE SO GOOD.

- YOU'RE SO GOOD. - YOU'RE SO GOOD.

YOU'RE GOOD.

YOU... - YOU ARE GOOD.

GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

- YOU ARE GOOD.

- GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. - GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

GOOD, GOOD.

- YOU ARE GOOD. - YOU'RE GOOD.

- THANK YOU VERY MUCH. - THANK YOU.

- THANKS FOR BEING HERE. - THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

- NO PROBLEM. I'M GLAD YOU'RE FEELING BETTER.

- OKAY. - OKAY.

- I'M HERE, ACTUALLY-- YOU KNOW THE SHOW, RIGHT?

"THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW"? - IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?

- YOU KNOW "THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW," RIGHT?

- YEAH. - YEAH.

- YEAH. - WELL, YOU'RE ON IT RIGHT NOW.

- YEAH. - WELL, YOU'RE ON IT RIGHT NOW.

- THERE'S CAMERAS IN HERE. - THERE'S CAMERAS HERE.

HERE, HERE, HERE.

- SHE WAS TELLING ME WHAT TO SAY.

- AND SHE WAS TELLING ME WHAT TO SAY.

[laughter]

SAY HI TO EVERYBODY AT HOME.

SAY HI TO EVERYBODY AT HOME.

YOU GOT TO SAY HI TO EVERYBODY AT HOME.

WASN'T SHE GREAT?

- WE'LL BE BACK.