- I want to ask you if you're watching a show

that I have been obsessed with. It's called "Child Genius."

Have you watched this, on Lifetime?

Anybody, yes? [cheers and applause]

Oh... And if you haven't,

find a way to start watching from the beginning.

It's a competition, and it's about--get this--

child geniuses. [laughter]

Kids--they're amazing, and watching them

makes me feel both dumb and stupid at the same time.

[laughter] They all have IQs above 150.

I don't even know what an IQ stands for, I don't--

[laughter]

I know "DQ" is Dairy Queen, I know that.

[laughter]

I don't know, they're like 12 years old, most of them.

That's the average age.

One of them is already taking college classes.

I'm 57, I still haven't started taking college classes.

They are smart in every area. They have--

They quiz them--every week is something different.

Math, geography, memorization.

One episode, they shuffled a deck of cards,

and the kids have to memorize the order

of every single card in the deck.

And they do it. They remember 52 cards.

Unbelievable--if I walk from the living room to the kitchen

for a pair of scissors, I forget what I was doing in there.

I've been telling everyone on my staff to watch this show,

and Andy, have you seen it yet? Have you watched?

- Uh, no, I've recorded it. I have not watched it.

- All right, well, that's the important thing.

I told you four weeks ago to watch and you've recorded it,

[laughter] so that's good.

All right, uh...

Here's--here's-- Come here, Andy.

I'm gonna punish you, come here.

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

We're going to have a little competition, and we're gonna--

[audience exclaims "oh!"]

We're gonna play a game...

Look, there's two podiums.

Who do you think you're going to play against?

- Some sort of child genius. - Yep, you are gonna play

against one of the child geniuses on the show.

Ryan! Come on out here, Ryan.

[lively pop music plays] [cheers and applause]

- Hi, Ryan. - Hi.

- How are you?

- Ryan, hi. - Hi.

- Hi, I'm a big fan.

I know who you are,'cause I watch the show.

You're how old? - I'm 12 years old...

- You're 12. - and I'm in 7th grade.

- You're in 7th grade, and what is your IQ?

- Um, well.

My parents, they told my brother and I

that one of our IQs is 153, and the other is 156,

but they won't exactly tell us whose is whose,

because otherwise, we'll fight over who's smarter, so...

- Right. And what are the--

Obviously, there's a lot of benefits,

but other than the obvious,

what is the benefit of being really, really smart?

- Oh, well, one thing that I really like

is that I can prove my parents wrong.

[laughter]

- They must love that. [laughter]

both: Yeah.

- What is your IQ, Andy? - [laughs]

- I have not had it tested. - No?

- No. - All right.

I just want to show everybody.

This is one of-- this is a math equation

that Ryan was doing on the show.

- Ryan, what is 39,553 + 2,302?

- 41,855.

- Correct. 39 x 7?

- 273. - Correct.

203 divided by 7.

- 29. - Correct, pen down.

Calculate 14 x 2 - 11,

and finally, multiply by 2.

- 34. - Correct.

[cheers and applause]

- Impressive.

[cheers and applause]

All right. Here's--Ryan, watch this.

This is a clip of Andy trying to walk.

[laughter]

announcer: Here she is now,

Ellen DeGeneres!

[laughter]

- All right, so...

- Not nice. - Here we go.

- All right, let's go. - [laughs]

All right, you've got a pad and pen,

you might not need that.

Okay, ready? - Yeah.

- Buzz in when you know the answer.

What's 7 x 7?

- 49. - That is right!

- Wow. [cheers and applause]

All right. This Friday is Friday the 13th.

How do you spell...

(sounding it out) Tricks..a..phobia?

(saying it wrong) Tricksadeckaphobia?

- That is right! - That's right.

[cheers and applause] That's right.

Good job!

You had that.

All right, here we go. Math equation.

- Okay. - Ready?

- Yep.

- 412.

["wrong" buzzer noise]

[laughter]

- Yes.

- 316 - Yes.

[cheers and applause]

- He didn't even do anything! - Right.

- He just said that, that's right.

All right. Good guess, though, Andy.

- Okay. - All right,

if 3 to the power of x times 9 equals 81,

what is the value of x?

- 2. - That's right.

[applause] - Yep.

[applause]

- Andy, I'm going to ask you something that's more

in your world-- You're a big fan

of the Los Angeles Kings, right?

- I am. - All right, what is

the Chinese word for "king?"

[laughter]

- Wáng?

- Wa--Wáng?

He should know, wáng.

[laughter] ["correct" bell dings]

[applause]

How do you spell that, Andy? - I don't know, but...

I got the first one. - Okay.

[laughter]

- Everyone knows that pi is the ratio

of a circle's circumference to its diameter,

but what are the first 10 digits of pi?

3.141592653589793--

- Okay, yeah, got it.

[laughter]

[applause]

- The score is 5 to 1. - Yes.

I have 17 Emmys. - Andy?

- Yeah, go ahead. - I really want you to have

a point here, okay?

Don't ring in.

Name 10 types of pie.

- Apple, pumpkin, blueberry, cherry, rhubarb,

pineapple, mincemeat...

- Pineapple pie? - Uh...

- Plum, key lime and banana cream and raspberry.

- All right. [cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

- Two. - Pineapple?

- Two--uh, yes. - I have never had

a pineapple pie in my life. - Nor have I.

Nor have I.

Here we go: if a woodchuck could chuck

60 pounds of wood in 1.5 days,

how many pounds of wood would a woodchuck chuck in 6 days?

- [stammers]

[laughter]

600.

["wrong" buzzer]

- 240. - That's right.

- Okay. [applause]

Fair enough. - All right.

- All right. - Name--

Name three Kardashians and Jenners don't count.

Kim, Khloe, and Kendall.

- (laughing) That's right.

Ah... - Oh, oh...

- Do you know who the Kardashians are?

- Yeah. - Okay.

The sum of three consecutive prime numbers is 173.

What is the largest of these numbers?

[buzzes in]

- 61? - That is right.

- I don't know what that means. - I don't either.

- [laughs]

- All right. - Good for you.

The score is 7 to 3 and I don't even know

how you got 3 on there, but anyway...

You were the winner, Congratulations, Ryan.

For winning, you're getting a 55" TCR Roku TV,

and a $1,000-- [loud cheers and applause]

and a $1,000 Game Stop game card.

- What do I get?

- You get nothing! - What do I get?

"Child Geniuses," Tuesday nights at 10:00 on Lifetime.

And now, we all dance. Give that back to him!